I should really start extensive editing work before posting it, because it’s not until after I promote it for the 30th time when I see a random comma or a conjunction.
I’ve been living with this secret of mine for 28 years now. It’s a deep secret, my best friend doesn’t even know it. Actually, I’ve been hiding it from her, especially. I don’t know how I’m going to tell her, if I tell her. I don’t know if she’s going to forgive me.
In our early thirties, she was in an unhappy marriage. Her husband was a peasant, to say the least. He would get drunk and abuse her; physically and verbally. He would work and spend all his money in the clubs or at the bar. My best friend’s husband was a problem the she couldn’t get rid of. She was always on the phone crying about their problems. He would sometimes neglect her and the children for days at a time. He was so childish, he wasn’t man enough for her. a
One evening, my best friend called crying, again, as usual.
“What happened now?” I sighed, coming out of my deep sleep. She started telling me about how her husband has been drinking again. He came home 3 hours late from work, stumbling and screaming about dinner being put away before he ate. It was late, she was trying to avoid arguing and waking the children up. He continued cussing and screaming at her. She went on about him slapping her and calling her every horrible name in the book. She said she cried and begged him to stop. My patience ran thin when she told me that this time was worst. I flew into her city the same weekend to comfort my best friend. Her face was swollen and red still and I saw the black and blue bruises throughout her body. There were some on her arms, thighs, neck and shoulders. He was obviously trying to hurt her badly. All I thought about was her being dead or her children witnessing this massacre. This is unacceptable, I lose sleep at night sometimes. After I saw her, I called my cousin, who was good for objectives like these. He instructed me to get my best friend and nephews far away from the house as possible. I anonymously mailed her 3 tickets to Seseame Place for the day. My cousin and I watched him at a bar later that night get pissy drunk. My cousin bartended that night and gave him complimentary shots all night. It was a quarter to 2 am when my best friend’s husband finally decided to stumble out of the bar. My cousin was watching him for 2 days, so he picked up on his routine. The bar was a 10-minute walk from their home and that was his form of commute.
When my best friend’s husband was half way home, my cousin and I crept closely behind him. It was a dark, long road. There were no houses near and the town was sound asleep. We pulled our masks over our faces and tossed on our hoodies indicating the perfect moment. My cousin shouted “hey.”
Her husband turned around towards us. I got the most satisfaction when I saw the fear in his eyes. My cousin swung his bat connecting with his head like he was Derek Jeter. Then I swung mine. Twice; he wasn’t as soft as he looked. My cousin and I beat him until he stopped moving. Well my cousin did. I had a purpose, I wanted to hurt him even after death. I kept smashing his head with the bat until I saw his brains seeping. That was for my best friend.
We ran down the dusty road to an old car my cousin had parked nearby. When we got in, we took off the hoodies and threw the bats in the back seat. My cousin said he was going to dispose everything. He dropped me off home that night. I ran myself a hot bath and poured a glass of red wine. I prayed asking the higher power for understanding and forgiveness. Unusually, my bath went cold, fast. I wasn’t half way done with my wine. I took that as a sign that I had a long day and it was now time for bed. That was the best sleep that I’ve ever had. I slept like a baby without a care in the world, until I was awoken by her phone call. I smiled knowing that this was the last time that he could hurt her.
I just miss my friend.
It was like… a utopia with him.
We danced, we sang.
We laughed and we cried.
We shared secrets, we…. we shared fantasies.
He was my favorite friend.
I guess that’s why it feels like this.
We watered each other with infatuation.
And blossomed into dope flowers.
He was a rose, though.
And as he was grew, so did his thorns.
It was so pretty.
I picked the rose because I thought it was mine.
Until it pricked me.
” I can’t map out the exact emotion or meme for this feeling. It’s a sad but good feeling. No one knows how hard it is to be in love with your best friend. It’s not always the perfect love story. Especially when they’re in love with someone else. You start to question why do they tolerate the stupidity they deal with from this person. My feelings often gets in the way, I’ll catch myself asking him “why are you still with her?” Then here’s that awkward silence, “because Bro, i just think you deserve better.” At the end of the day, he’s still my Bestfriend. I’m not going to be fake(anymore) and tell him to keep trying with her. When he was single, I tried making my move and failed miserably. He escorted me back to the friendzone with the “I’m just not ready to take it there yet.” 🤦🏾♀️
So here I am #inLovewithmyBestFriend while still being the caring, supportive, down to earth best friend I was before.”
Behind the desk of Charlie.
“It’s so corny to call what this is Love
But the dictionary definition defines us pefectly. “
drought. I have nothing to write about.
drought. Like a faucet running dry, this can not fly.
drought. I’m about to get stoned. hopefully, this block moves along.
How did I fall for another woman’s man?
How did I get so comfortable?
Why am I going all out for a man
That can’t go out with me?
Why are his words so genuine,
His touch is so tender?
How did I get here?
He’s my friend.
But he’s not just my friend.
I feel free and relaxed,
His aura is so welcoming
And we’ve talked about everything.
A special friend that’s healing yet hurting me.
I’m going to miss his drive.
He smelled so good.
I’m going to miss the feel of his body on mine.
I’m going to miss his smile and his shine.
He completed all my sentences
We fit so perfectly
We smiled, sang and danced.
Every morning I went to work wearing his
morning breath on my lips gracefully
He still belonged to her.
My ears heard the most admirable things
Escape his lips.
He still belonged to her.
My friend, an amazing friend is just a friend
Because he still belonged to her.